The "Good Enough" Mom
Updated: Jan 5, 2019
Okay moms. This has been on my heart since a conversation with a patient earlier in the week and I decided that it's time to let you all know that YOU ARE "GOOD ENOUGH". My patient said that sometimes she wonders what she could have done differently to help her child not be going through what he's going through. We put SO much stress and expectations on ourselves as moms because between all the intentionally sweet unsolicited advice to reading through Facebook mom page post comments, many of us believe that we would be a better mom if we were more like "that mom, that friend, that whoever".
Well, let me tell you. THAT whoever is NOT your child's mother. YOU are your child's mother. You are the one who knows that child inside and outside to a fault (Where did that freckle on the third right toe come from? That wasn't there two days ago!!) This means that you know better than anyone when something seems off with you kid, or what will work or won't work for your family when it comes to sleeping, or what type of discipline will sit best in your heart for helping your children learn consequences from their decisions. It's great to receive advice, especially when you ask for it. But know that usually, your first gut instinct about what to do, who to call, where to go is most likely the right call. Because you KNOW your child.
Before having our oldest, Ellis, I had envisioned being the "perfect" mom because of my perfectionist tendencies. Everything changed when he came into our lives. Having an extremely colicky baby who reacted to a large number of foods, body care items, soaps, and medicines who never slept until he was almost two years old changed a lot. We were in survival mode most days (as I am sure a lot of you are). I battled with PPD and PPA because of the lack of sleep, my extremely strict diet, and unsettled baby. I ended up taking two trimesters off from chiropractic school because of Ellis' health and also partly for my own sanity and health. As the years have gone on, going through his diagnosis of Sensory Processing Disorder then Autism; going to therapies and treatments, working with him at home, working through the daily meltdowns....I learned that there is no perfection in motherhood (or anywhere else for that matter). I have finally realized after having our second son that being a "good enough" mom is all that matters to my children because I AM ENOUGH.
Making sure my kids are fed, bathed, seen, and heard...and most of all loved is what I strive for. It's all they want. They just want their mamas to hold them, hug them, read to them, and play with them. If you are doing this, then you are doing great, mama. If you ever need a reminder that you are enough, just look into your children's eyes after a sweet hug or snuggle. Sending you all lots of love before the weekend! Remind a mama you love that she is good enough, too.❤️